How to Handle a Bitchy Insult with as Much Poise as Possible

Posted: Saturday, July 12, 2008
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Author: christy~chamcham
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Filed under: Daily Life, Facts of Life, Read

Today was not so busy at work. So I picked up a Female Magazine (http://www.femalemag.com.my/), and flipped the page. And I came across a part of article in the magazine. Was pretty interesting. So I would love to share everyone what I read. Which is going to be the title of today's post.

How to Handle a Bitchy Insult with as Much Poise as Possible

Acknowledge the Insults

Ignoring an insult is like pretending not to notice an elephant in the room.

It was so obvious and it is right on your face when they said it. How can you handle it.

It's pointless to ignore and the insult will keep coming back to haunt you.

But silence can give permission. For example when your friend told that you have a bad haircut. You just say nothing, soon or later your friend would go with it and forgot what they said.

Take Time to Respond

When you are in such situation, remember to take deep breath and breathe.

Don't try to give reasons or excuses, instead, explain to them.

Don't try to defense, that would basically makes you agreed to be one of their victim.

Try Fogging (Making the insult less obvious)

Sometimes you agree with the insults you get, and you got nothing to say or confront about it.

But that does not mean you play as a victim.

For example, someone said something like, "Stop acting like a fat slug." and you say, "Yes I am fat!"

Your not agreeing with the insult, just the fact within it.

Know who you're talking to.

Do not waste waste your time with people who would not hear you.

Throw Back the Insults

If you don't accept an insult, the insult always remains with the person who voiced it.

Just calmly ask for an explanation. Most people freeze when forced to confront their nastiness.

Accept it Positively

When you feel there's some truth to the critism, take it as a constructive comment.

But do let others know they had crossed the line in the way it was delivered.

When you received any insults, just politely thank them. Usually they would go speechless, and apologize at the end. (That's the majority of people acted on it.)

If You Must

Take the insult, and reply them back in a humour.

But it's like mocking each other with silly jokes. (I personally added)

**We cannot be responsible for another's behaviour, but are always accountable for our own.**

When You Wear the Other Shoe?

Take Responsibility
Say "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" instead of, "I'm sorry you feel that way".

Explain you did no mean to hurt
However don't use that as an excuse. You must realise that your actions, whether intended to cause hurt or not, did infact do that.

Display Regret
Show the other person that your're affected too.

Make a Concrete Promise
Apologize nicely for what you said and promise will be more sensitive to what you're going to say to them next time. The other person can only forgive you when they know you will never hurt them again.

Right the Wrong
You can ask the other person what you can do to make up your thoughtlessness and asinine words. (Promise would be more careful.)